Chitty Chitty Bang Bang : Snowy Soul

Approximately after ten years I return to Himalayan hills, en-route to queen of hills Shimla, in the midst of chilling night, partly warmed with car-heater, indulging in conversation with driver to feed my boredom which started with about his whereabouts & ending in world politics. Ten years-a long period for a change, yet the Himalayas, from where I left it-Ranikhet in Kumaon hills in Uttranchal to Shimla on the other side of this mighty range, remains unchanged. Whilst looking for the change in the shadows of hills in the dark night I inquired into myself; I also remain unchanged. My flight from teenage to late twenties may have hiked my body through several alterations but still something inside remains untouched. "Should I take some anti-vomit pills ?" was the thought that frequented my mind whenever I used to enter the turning roads hills. I observed that thought coming again.
There is some connection between mighty Himalayas & my soul, just a glimpse of them makes me feel so inferior. The tireless false ego somehow starts to vanish, letting me to fall into depth created by these giant mountains.










Writing this, I sit in my hotel room, the snow fall visible from window. Snow god welcomed me by throwing small cotton balls like snow into my world, making me struck into struggle between body & heart. My heart wants to leap on the snow & play with it while my body encountering this idea. In anyway, I know that my heart will win eventually as I myself stand on its side, I always have.

For me at least, always, nature has evoked something in me that even I never figured out. Sartre with all his wit, shouting inside me - other is hell, & then getting disappeared with rest of thoughts. Coming in close proximity with nature has made me lonelier, & most important much calmer.
I, with mighty Himalayas & cotton like snow, feel much more like a human instead of gods, closest to my basic nature. These hills speak, trying to touch me with their pine tree like hands & squeezing me to the utmost state of being where neither happiness nor sadness exists. I take back my'self' from here instead of memories, learnt the art of drinking Zen tea.
The only word that I can give to this wild eruption is 'love'.