Thursday, February 19, 2009
Reflections On Deeds : Living Without Images
The evening sun was just few inches above the horizon, getting dimmer. The sea was calm, the waves weren't exactly roaring, instead the sound was musical. There were no cauliflower clouds but they were scattered all across the sky like a carpet leaving only the space for the sun to set in. I could see thousands of foot marks on the sand, I wonder, how old they were - days, weeks or centuries ?
He sat beside me, talking business on the mobile & after a while joined me in the gazing of sea. He was young & I have known him from couple of years. His success was seemingly surprising for the man of his age & it poured out of his face too in form of pride. He received pretty good education & was widely read.
He said,'I wanted to talk to you from a while. I have read some of your blog postings & though a bit hesitant at first of opening up myself, I thought to give it a try'.
I looked at him & he was still speaking,'I am not at peace at all. I have achieved quite a good but I can feel unthinkable unsatisfactory state which permanently leads to irritation. I know I am good but I want to be best but concurrently I want to have the mental peace too'.
Why do you want to have mental peace? Why are you making so much a problem out of it?
But I cant sleep well. I ought to have that peace.
Is it not that your constant effort of bringing deliberately the peace is causing a conflict in you ? Can you see it ?
So what should I do to get out of this conflict?
Doing anything will create another conflict, tension within & so forth. Mind is a marvelous instrument but it has to be understood. The constant comparison between 'what should be' & 'what is' creates a kind of pull in different directions & so comes unrest. Listen to this story, right here, right now, very observantly, in absolute honesty, holding no opinion for or against. This in exact sense is called - doing nothing.
But I tell you very truly I don't want to do anything on the expense of my career.
Its a complete myth that you are caught in. I am pointing towards the integration of everything within & without. Not of leaving or holding anything. Not pursuing a certain goal, any desire for some spiritual or mystical experience because that will most certainly create another conflict. I am talking about an awareness which must be totally passive, no more than listening & looking of our outward & inward instincts. I am talking about sitting & doing nothing at all.
Oh! now I got it.
He closed his eyes. The sun was long set & it was getting darker. I looked at his face. He was trying to do nothing. But again trying.
(The blog entries with labels & header 'Reflections' are picked up from my encounter of different peoples. They narrate a story that I have lived thus they are mere investigations & so does not carry a purpose of imposing any idea or convincing anyone)