Notes To Myself :- The within, The without

Just day before yesterday, I saw a message blinking on my mobile phone as soon as I woke up from my after noon siesta. The message was from one of my very close person, alleging of some thing that I wouldn't even dream of. At first, I thought that its just a jest cracked upon me as a postmortem of 1st April (fools day) but with the passage of time & the increasing number of incoming messages I knew that the person is damn serious in alleging me.

Wow! the person knew me from at least one & half years & now accusing me of doing such thing that I hated most in my life. I don't blame the person rather I would blame the mentality that we all possess. To put trust on some one is one of the most difficult jobs for us. We just trust our own judgments whatever & in however shape they are. We judge others in a way that they always should fall inferior to us.

I am quite indifferent to the allegations. I cannot help it, since I never knew that one day I will also stand accused for the thing that throws dirt on all the wisdom (bigger or smaller, no matter) I have inculcated. For me, even to stand guarding my self against such things is shameful. I cannot go convincing anyone since the very idea of convincing others simply shows that deep down we aren't even convinced.

Then how I am going to defend ? Well, I will never. It's just like convincing some one that I am a human being a & not a devil. But the lesson that I have learned from this that we are enslaved by time. Time decides our feeling for other, time decides for us how to judge others, time decides for us when to hate & when not to. I am no more a slave of time. I don't judge others because I know I simple rule of life that my feet are not in their shoes.

It may put a impression that I am just forgiving the person for such thing. In fact, there is nothing to forgive. I am not that superior to forgive anyone but I am always capable of forgiving just myself. So I simply forgive myself.

Rest is absolutely perfect.